


It's The Great Big Christmas Tree, Mr. Stark!

by ciaconnaa



Series: 12 Days of Irondad & Spideyson Christmas [1]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Christmas Fluff, Gen, rated T for a few swear words soRRY, tony will do anything for peter and he's MAD about it lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-03
Updated: 2018-12-03
Packaged: 2019-09-06 11:41:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16831918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ciaconnaa/pseuds/ciaconnaa
Summary: “Fifteen feet!?” Tony doesn’t know whether to berate him for his stupidity or laugh at the absurdity. “How in the world? Did you not measure it?”“Ummm, we eyeballed it,” Peter says, “And in my defense, I’m usually really good at eyeballing considering I shoot webs and swing from precarious heights on the daily.”“And yet, you still need glasses, it would seem.”or;Peter and Ned cut down a Christmas tree that's way too big. And they need Iron Man to take it.





	It's The Great Big Christmas Tree, Mr. Stark!

Tony _swears_ the Macy’s Thanksgiving parade is still being broadcast when he gets a call from Peter asking him to spare a little Christmas spirit to help him get out of one of his recurring _pickles_ he so often gets into.

“You need me to _what?”_

“....Take a Christmas tree.” Peter’s voice is filled with regret and shame. “Ned and I cut one that’s too big, and it won’t fit on the hood of May’s Prius. And since we cut it, we have to pay for it.”

“You...cut one.” Tony says, voice flat. “Please tell me you aren’t at one of those farms upstate where you chop down your own goddamn tree.”

Peter’s voice pitches up like, _three_ octaves, if that’s possible. “Umm….”

“Seriously. You know, they do sell trees in the city. Like five blocks from your place. All Prius sized for that matter, too.”

“But Mr. Stark!” Peter whines, elongating his name. “It’s so cool to go out and get one yourself! Ben would take me every year since I was six, and it’s so _fun_ here! I have to keep the tradition going. So I brought Ned. Listen, they sell hot chocolate, there’s a petting zoo, and you can take a picture with Santa!”

“Santa.”

“You bet!” Peter says firmly, not willing to fall victim to Tony’s teasing. “I’ve told him what you wanted for Christmas, but he said you were on the naughty list. So sorry.”

Tony snorts out a laugh. “Careful, kid. I believe you were in the middle of asking me for a favor.”

“Right, right,” Peter mumbles. “So, will you come and get the tree?”

Despite it all, Tony checks the time on his watch. It’s a little late in the afternoon for a long car ride, especially when he’ll have to use one of his bigger cars to carry the tree. He thinks it might just be easier to wire the kid money to pay for the tree, cut his losses, and just come home. “Depends. How far away are you?”

“Won’t take long in the suit.”

“The _suit,”_ Tony repeats back. “Why do I need the suit.”

There’s a nervous chuckle. “It’s a really big tree.”

“How big.”

“Uhhhhhh.”

“Pete.”

He can practically see the wince on his face. “...fifteen feet.”

“Fifteen feet!?” Tony doesn’t know whether to berate him for his stupidity or laugh at the absurdity. “How in the world? Did you not _measure it?”_

“Ummm, we _eyeballed_ it,” Peter says, “And in my defense, I’m usually really good at eyeballing considering I shoot webs and swing from precarious heights on the daily.”

“And yet, you still need glasses, it would seem.” This child is a disaster. “I’ll just wire you money for the tree, okay? It’s no big deal.” He doesn’t know how much trees are, especially fifteen foot trees, so he gives him two grand, just for the hell of it. “You’ll have to find a tree that you can actually haul up your building stairs another time.”

“What?” Peter blurts out. “No, no, come on! This tree is awesome! You gotta come get it.”

“I hate to break it to you, but a fifteen foot tree isn’t going to fit in your apartment.”

“No,” Peter hesitates. “But...it’ll fit in yours.”

It’s times like this that remind Tony that Peter is likely responsible for every new grey hair that grows on his head.

Tony does Christmas right. As a part of Stark Industries, he kind of has to. He does the gifts, he does the parties, he does the decorations. He does the _tree._ But that’s all for the building, or for Pepper, or for his employees. His labs and living quarters have the bare minimum of Christmas accessories. Garlands. Bows. A few lights.

No tree.

A fifteen foot tree in his house seems out of the question.

“Kid. I don’t need a tree.”

“Yes, you do! It’s Christmas!”

“Let me rephrase: I don’t need a tree that big in my house. It’s too much.”

“Very untrue. Your middle name is _Extra,_ fifteen feet of Christmas tree isn’t even a blip on your radar.”

Tony sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. His left arm starts to twitch in a way it always does when his blood pressure starts to get just a _bit_ too high. “Kid…”

“I’ll decorate it!” he blurts out over the phone before Tony can get a say. “You won’t have to worry about anything after setting it up. I’ll make sure it’s watered, I’ll clean up the needles, I’ll handle everything. Please? Get the tree?”

Aw, _crud._ “Ugh. How is it I can _hear_ your big brown, puppy dog eyes from all the way over here? How do you manage this.”

Peter’s voice brightens. “So you’re coming?”

“Yeah, yeah. I got your back, kid.” He pauses and says aloud, although it’s more to himself, “Should I call Rhodey?”

“....Do you need air clearance for this kind of thing?”

Tony considers this. “Probably. The military probably wants to know about all unidentified flying Christmas trees. I’ll call him. I’m sure he’ll _love this.”_

Rhodey definitely doesn’t love it. But in the end, Tony is _Tony_ and he does what he wants. Or in this case, what Peter wants. The trip upstate in the suit is quick and he finds Peter and Ned easily enough; not by any tracker or tech of his making, but because they’re waving their hands up in the sky next to a fallen tree that definitely won’t fit on the hood of a Prius.

“Mr. Stark!” Peter calls out with glee as the thrusters fade and he lands, letting the suit retract. “You finally made it.”

Ned is mumbling _“Oh my god, it’s Tony Stark”_ under his breath as Tony takes in the full picture. The boys are both wrapped up in coats, gloves, and scarves, although Peter is more of an after picture; his coat is more worn, his boots dirtier, and his scarf has a huge hole in it. Tony could stick his whole hand in it. He does just that.

“Nice scarf,” he mumbles, pulling his hand back. He mentally makes a note to buy the kid a new one.

“Thanks!” Peter chirps, missing the dig entirely, and suddenly Tony feels bad. Maybe he won’t replace the scarf if he likes it that much.

“What’s with the….hats?” Tony gestures, trying to swipe it off his head. Peter uses both his hands to keep it on his head, darting left and right to avoid him.

“Peter’s idea,” Ned supplies, coming down from his initial excitement. Tony gives up on the hat. “He says Ben made him wear them? But it’s kind of a hassle.” He gestures down the field of trees where Tony can barely spot two young women getting help to chop their tree from someone wearing a similar hat. “The employees are elves, too.”

Tony glances Peter’s way and sees how the kid’s expression is tight, lips pursed but eyes glinting with... _something._ Maybe it’s that Christmas Spirit bullshit everyone’s always talking about. But all he knows is that Peter definitely wore the hat on purpose.

His proof comes up moments later in the form of an elderly couple that softens Peter’s features and puts a large grin on the kid’s face. “Excuse me, young man,” the man says and points beyond to a place they can’t see with a shaky hand. “My wife and I found a tree. Would you be so kind to help us cut it down?”

Peter clasps both hands behind his back and Tony can practically hear the _boing_ as Peter springs up, standing perfectly straight. “Absolutely! Lead the way.”

Ned gives a tired laugh as Peter and the couple start their way down to some hopefully, _smaller_ trees. “That’s the third person he’s helped cut down the tree for. Not to mention he’s strapped them to like….seven cars.” Ned definitely sounds tired, but he isn’t angry. “We’ve been here all morning.”

It all checks out in Tony’s books. With Peter’s super-strength, he could probably hack a tree down in one swing, carry it to the customer’s car on just his shoulder, and then strap it so securely to the hood that they just might not be able to get it off when they get home. If it’s so easy for him, Tony has no doubt Peter feels an _obligation_ and _want_ to help as many people that ask for help as he can.

So Tony waits patiently for Peter to do his civil duty. A few minutes later he spots the kid down a ways with a small tree that’s, yes, sitting on one shoulder, heading towards the main grounds of the farm. “I’ll be right back!” Peter screams. “Guard the tree!”

“No one else can pick it up,” Tony mumbles, giving the thing a small kick. “I’m gonna look like an idiot bringing this thing to New York.”

“Maybe you’ll make the six o’clock news.”

“Uh, I _am_ the six o’clock news.” Tony sighs. “If only the kid could fly.”

“That’d be so cool!”

“Negative, Ted. Flying is _my_ thing.”

Peter returns quickly, no doubt using some of his super speed to help him get there a bit faster. He’s not so much as out of breath. “Okay. Where were we?”

“You were about to hand off this seventeen foot tree to me.”

“Fifteen.”

 _“Seventeen,”_ Tony reiterates. Because he has eyes. He can tell. He looks between the two boys and notices that they really didn’t even think to bring a measurer because truth be told, Peter really _is_ good at eyeballing. He should have been able to tell how tall the tree was, or at least known it was too big.

Which means he did this on _purpose,_ the little shit.

“ _Pete._ ”

“What?” He says, the word a bit of a squeak. He’s trying to play cool and he’s failing stupendously. So Tony resigns to stare him down, and it only takes Peter maybe _five seconds_ to crack. “Aw, come on!” His shoulders slump. “You need a tree! The penthouse foyer is massive. Twenty foot ceilings. ”

“You measured them.”

“I’ve _napped_ on them.”

“You bullied me into getting a tree,” Tony fake pouts. “Santa is gonna hear about this.”

“No, please, don’t tell Santa!” Peter begs, laughing. “I’ve been good all year, I swear.”

“Debatable.”

Peter just keeps on laughing. “If you really want to tell him, I won’t stop you. He’s right here on the farm you know. Me and Ned haven’t gotten our picture yet. You could join us?”

“Dude,” Ned sighs. “We haven’t even gotten a _tree_ yet. Like the real tree we came for. You know, for May?”

“I know,” Peter says, picking up the axe they’ve brought along. Tony swallows a comment about how everyone else uses _chainsaws_ so they don’t need to use _super strength_ just to cut it down. “I thought Mr. Stark would help us pick it out!”

Why does Tony keep getting roped into this shit.

Peter goes on. “I don’t know everything about you, but I _do know_ you’ve never picked out your Christmas tree. And I thought….” he gestures to the field of trees among them, “It’s never too late to try, right?”

He wants to say no. Pick up the giant tree and fly to the city with no promises that it won’t arrive damaged and kill the Christmas spirit in the penthouse forever. But he doesn’t. Because he’s here and his kid is smiling at him and he’s holding the axe like a fucking _moron_ so he’s gonna have to show him how a real man does it.

“Fine. Come on,” Tony finally says, reaching for the axe handle. Both Peter and Ned whoop in excitement. “Leave the tree. No one will touch it. I’ll grab it and fly it home when you leave. In the meantime, I’ll show you boys how to use an axe properly so you don’t hurt yourselves.”

“I won’t hurt myself,” Peter scoffs. “I haven’t yet. And even if I did, I’d just...heal.”

Tony snorts, and gestures to Ned. “Yeah, but Fred here won’t. You don’t want that thing flying out of your hands and getting embedded in his shin, do you?”

“I rather like my shin, sir,” Ned squeaks. “Please don’t use your super strength to accidentally kill me, Peter.”

Peter grins. “I won’t, I promise. Thanks, Mr. Stark.”

“No problem, kid. And don’t worry, I wired you money for the tree, but I don’t know if it’s enough for two, you’ll have to check.”

Peter frowns then, reaching into his pocket for his phone. It takes him like, ten seconds to pull up his account information before he lets out a gasp so loud it could start an avalanche. “Mr. Stark! Two trees do _not_ cost two thousand dollars!”

Ned starts freaking out as well as he snatches the phone out of his hand, checking for himself. Meanwhile, Tony just shrugs, playing the fool. “They don’t? Huh. Didn’t know. I haven’t cut a tree before, remember?”

Peter suddenly thrusts his phone under Tony’s nose. “Make it go away. Take it back.”

Oh, he loves this. “No.”

“T-take it back!”

“Nope.”

“Fine. I’ll just write you a check.”

“Won’t cash it.”

“Mr. _Stark_!”

Tony rolls his eyes before they rest looking somewhere to the left. He sees the perfect one for Peter and May’s living room. “Just….use the leftover money for Christmas gifts for your friends.”

“How many friends do you think I have!?”

Ned snickers. “Heh. Not many. Hey,” he tugs on Peter’s sleeve. “Write _me_ that check for Christmas. I’ll buy us so many video games.”

“Listen to Ed, he has the true Christmas spirit at heart: materialism.”

But when Tony looks back over at Peter he can see that he really, truly is, quite upset about the whole ordeal. Despite that Tony literally has _billions_ of dollars, Peter has never liked being given anything more than a crisp twenty dollar bill. A pride thing, he supposes, which Tony can respect. He doesn’t want to be handed things. But also…. _billions_ of dollars. He’s between a rock and a hard place here.

Can’t let that stand.

“Okay,” Tony caves, laying a hand on Peter’s shoulder and giving it a squeeze. “Think of the money as punishment, then. For forcing me to take a photo with Santa.”

The kid’s a little slow on the uptake, but it’s worth seeing his frown fade and the excitement he had when Tony arrived come creeping back. “Yeah? You’ll do the photo with us?”

“All part of this tree chopping experience, right? Gotta do it right. Plus, it wouldn’t hurt to check about which of those lists I’m on...”

And just like that, the warmth in Peter’s voice is back. “....Thanks, Mr. Stark.”

“Sure,” he says back, just as softly. Tony reaches up to pull on one of Peter’s elf ears. “Now, tree. Show me how you hold the axe.”

He shows him. It’s wrong.

But that’s okay. Tony can teach him. Anything to stall the flight home with that damn tree.

(Because Ned’s right. He makes the six o’clock news.)

**Author's Note:**

> hello!!!! I wanted to try and do a holiday project. It WAS going to be 25 days but that's a LOT so I trimmed it down to 12. I have the first six fics all ready and done!!! I was going to wait until the actual 12 days leading up to christmas but I think I'm gonna space them out and I also wanted a chance to at least get SOME of the fics up since I feel....myself getting sick and I might end up in the hospital again SO precautionary measure. I guess I could queue them up but fuck it!!! I'm impatient. I already wrote this one like two weeks ago lol. None of the fics are based on prompts, they're all just 12 little stories I came up with!!! I hope you'll enjoy them as I publish them!!!! 
> 
> *vine voice* murry chrysler


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